There was a lot of him and a little penis
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
