i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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