Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
