Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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