when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
