Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Randomize
