you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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