Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
