Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
