Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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