and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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