Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
