He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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