PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
