bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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