Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
