I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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