Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
