I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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