I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
