I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
