I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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