Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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