And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
