I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
