I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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