you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
