he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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