I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
