If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am spending my child support on dildos
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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