She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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