i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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