Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Randomize
