last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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