You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
