He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize