the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
