To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
