she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
