So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
