Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
