I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
