There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
