If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
