You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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