I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
