I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize