it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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