in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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