You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
