I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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