Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
