Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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