Will you blow on my dice?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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