I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
