Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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