You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
