She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
