put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize