My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
