I heard we made out
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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