I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
