i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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