I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
