Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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