If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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