Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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