jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
