I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
