Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She announced her abortion via fbk
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
