You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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