I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
