hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
