wrigley field is MILF paradise
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize