It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
How does it feel to date your dad?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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