just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
