I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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